Okay, for those of you not familiar with this particular grocery chain...let me indulge you. It is huge, it is crowded, it is cheap (no comments about why this would attract me there please), and it is a mother's nightmare. It is one of those exciting places where you not only drudge through the giant warehouse, but you unload all your groceries onto the counter, you pay, then you bag your groceries, load your cart, load your car, drive home, and unload your car and inevitably need a pill or at the very least a nap immediately following. I have not ONCE entered this facility without anxiety, grouchiness, a little sweat and I have more than once shed a tear or two in the produce isle (coincidentally the first isle you enter when coming in the store).
Now, if you are concerned that I might have some kind of clinical grocery phobia (I am not denying this), it would be different if I shopped alone, but lo, I rarely do. Since Caden was born I go on weekends, weeknights, or (bless him) send my husband. I am quite literally terrified of what might happen if I bring more than one child into this particular store.
This brings me to the point of this rambling...this weekend, while my husband (and nearly all my closest friends, I might add...) were off running Hood to Coast, I was stuck at home without any food. What is a good mother to do? Let us all eat Pork and Beans for every meal since that was the only virtually edible thing in our pantry? No...we bribe. That is what we do. We bribe our children. With candy. Or popsycles. Or in my case...both.
I gave them the lecture of "no racing, no climbing, no yelling, no begging, no fighting, no throwing..." (all of which are done on a regular basis while at WinCo). Not one ounce of me truly believed I would survive this hour of torture, but we had to eat and I was desperate. Heaven was looking out for me this particular Saturday afternoon, however. My kids were absolute angels. I kept pinching myself so I'd wake up...are these really my kids? When Emma was looking at some Scooby Doo fruit snacks and I said "come on Emma" she said "okay mom!" and walked RIGHT NEXT TO MY CART. It was honestly, truly better than Christmas.
I came through on my end. They got to EACH choose a box of popsycles (okay, they had to choose from the green sale labels only...I didn't totally go crazy here...), and they each got to choose a candy from the checkout isle. I tried to explain to them that when they make mom happy, THEY are happy. I am not sure they heard me between chomping of Bubble Tape and slurping of suckers, but I think the point was made...mom can and will be bribed.