Sunday, January 18, 2009

Defiance

(Emma and her cousin Ashley at Out of this World Pizza yesterday for her bday)

Help! I am running out of patience with my adorably defiant FOUR year old. I never dreamed her strong-willed, stubborn-extraordinaire personality would extend beyond the three's. Okay, so she turns four tomorrow...I will give her a few days to transform into a mild, well-behaved four year old.
Today at church, my sweet little thing adamantly refused to go into sunbeams. "It is boring" she says...out loud...to the teacher...who, I might add, MIGHT just be the sweetest, most creative, wonderful teacher to walk the earth. How can she be my child? Seriously, I am a person who gets myself into trouble b/c I am terrified of offending anyone. I am a people pleaser. Emma is NOT. To illustrate, we will go back to my blessed Sunday morning. I finally peel her off my skirt (I am the primary chorister teaching music in the front of the room with a 4 year old leech stuck to my leg) but she won't sit in her chair b/c she doesn't want to sit by anyone. At one point, I peer over my music stand to see her sprawled on the floor. After plunking her (forcefully) back into her chair, I turn around to tears and near tantrums. THEN, the counselor in the primary tries to take her to class (b/c clearly peeling her off of me wasn't working very well in singing time, let alone to get her to class) and she openly rebels! My tomorrow- is-going- to- be- a -four- year old child threw a tantrum IN THE HALL!! IN THE CHURCH! I really might die of mortification.
Luckily, the counselor got Spencer (as I might have just started to cry in the hall with her) who quickly plunked her in her carseat, where she and he remained for the remaining HOUR of church. We are really good parents, right? :)
I am sure the rest of the blogger moms out there have perfectly behaved almost four year olds, ESPECIALLY at church, so I'd love some advice. How can I get my sweet as sugar (but only when she wants to be) child go to Sunbeams? I am perfectly open to bribary, threats, and punishment, just give me some ideas!

7 comments:

Samurai Mom said...

Four is the worst age period. See my post on the subject.

The Lauper Family said...

Oh Chels, I am like a ping pong ball each Sunday during primary singing and sharing time. (BTW, I'm the Enrichment Leader so I have NO business in primary) I run from Bronson's side to Gavin's side either chiding a child for laying on the floor, running around or for running up to the microphone to announce nonsense. Then there is always the sudden blurting of "Baaaagaaloogaa" ...just in hopes of making little friends laugh. Seriously, my boys would loudly and proudly concur with your little Miss Miss Sis that primary is a TOTAL waste of time. Yes, that's right. The Lauper boys are very well known by all primary leaders/teachers. I really am a strict mom, but clearly, they pull out all the stops at church because there is only one of me and two of them. Let's just say, every Sunday someone is either grounded for the afternoon or has lost a fun privilege for a few days.

thomfam5 said...

Wow Chelsea, sounds fun. I am sure you want MY advice. Kyle is not shy about sharing his opinion either, also to my mortification half the time. He did not want to sit down and be reverent at Halle's Recognition Night and also lost priviledges (the Wii). He openly said I don't want to be in here and listen th these girls. Embarassing! I feel your pain...

Kristi said...

I wish I could say I have a magic answer but remember when I was in there I had Brayden attached and Parker lying on the floor or wondering the room. Bribery always worked for me a little. Good luck!!!

Melissa said...

No ideas, just empathy and support from a fellow people pleaser. I have even told my kids that if they embarrass me in public the fall out will be much worse. Some times I feel like crying too. We work so hard, put in our blood sweat and tears and I feel like no one is responding. One thing I know for sure, these little people are here to soften our extremes. So since you and I are extreme in putting our best foot forward in public, Emma has tantrums and Madeline picks her nose all through the first grade musical. It's a good thing she's so cute!

Angela and Kevin Taylor said...

Oh, my Dylan is giving me issues too. At the library last week he picthed a major fit. It was so embarassing! Really, shouldn't this be over by now? We have a jar of M&M's. When he's good he gets some put in, when he's not I take them out and throw them away. It works pretty well. You have to make sure you let them eat some fairly often so they get the concept though. Good luck with Sunbeams!

Marah said...

We are SO THERE. My 3-year-old screams at the slightest provocation, so apparently there were a couple of times, probably more since I'm never in sharing time and I don't always hear what goes on, that my 3-year-old screamed her head off. The little smartie also figured out that if she told her Primary leaders that she was hungry, they would take her to nursery to get her a snack. When I found out what was going and explained that she's not really hungry, going to the nursery stopped. About the same time, the leaders came up with the idea to make a lace-up card for each Sunbeam. The card is a laminated picture of the Sunbeam child, and those kids love that. It has helped on a number of occasions.

Honestly, though, I think things get better when the kids graduate to senior primary. :-)