Sunday, November 7, 2010

Is it another mid life crisis?



I am having another mid life crisis and I can't figure out the solution. Maybe you can help? Let me describe:

I am still weirdo around babies (like: "Can I hold your baby? I know I am a perfect stranger, but he is soo cute!",); I am obsessed with Game On! diet; I am now taking a photography class (seriously do NOT know how I have time for this); bought a nice, new SLR camera to play with; started practicing the piano again; started scrapbooking again; and I have all sorts of plans for future projects. Am I embracing the life of a middle aged mom, or is this a sign that I should have more kids? I feel like I am nesting, but I am not pregnant. I have my hands in about 1403 things, but can't seem to get enough! Whenever I think of having another little baby, it makes me feel scared and overwhelmed and I am constantly reminded of all the things i am miserably failing at as a mom of four (can I add another person to this massive amount of chaos?), but I still feel a pang of sadness when I see babies, or look at how grown up Caders is! Is this just how it is when you are "done" or do people who feel this way end up with 12 kids?

4 comments:

Jenny said...

Oh, Chels...You need another baby!!! lol. I could say I'm kidding right now, but I'm not. I felt so full and satisfied after I had Joe, and then I started to feel what your feeling. My four became manageable and enjoyable. Then we had Ruth...she just soothes my soul! I'm not gonna lie and say my life isn't crazy with 5, but it such a good kind of crazy and so full and happy! I love having my older kids to help, the fact that Hailey is 12 and can babysit makes it all worth it. All of the kids help Ruth and it is so much more different than when they were all little and I was having one more. Besides, what they are learning as they care for a baby is something they will take with them when it's time for them to have babies. We are done...for sure now, and I just wish that I had it in me to have 5 more, I'm not kidding! I love babies! I can't afford them and don't have the room, and no, it's not a lack of faith on my part :) I know that this is all I can manage here on earth and this helps me to know I'm done having children here...I look forward to having children in the next life :) This is what YOU have to decide. Man I miss you!

Nancy Bair said...

Oh Jenny. I miss you.
Chels, you are a great mom, you should not be selling yourself short! Are you kidding me? Wish I still lived down the street and could come over and yell at you (just kidding!)in your super clean house with your kids doing their homework, chores, and craft projects.
Well, I sure hope we can have kids in the next life because my two are all my body is going to allow, unless a miracle occurs. I feel that pain everytime I see a newborn. Every time a baby is blessed, baby showers, etc. I'm not jealous, just get that "feeling." It gets better with time and now my neices and nephews are getting married and having babies and I get to spoil them too. They struggle financially and to send them a new outfit or toy is like spreading Christmas all year long.

Oh, and by the way, I was a #5. I 'm, "the dr. said we couldn't have anymore" child. Yes, I'm the baby of the family and my 4 older sisters tormented (i mean LOVED) me a ton growing up. I just wish I wasn't so much younger than them. My mom said that I kept them young (is that even possible?). There is a time and season for everything...! Maybe it's your season....for once :0

Anonymous said...

Oh my sweet, talented, kind hearted friend Chels. You ARE MEANT to be a wonderful mama to many. Seriously...it's time for another baby for you girlfriend. Maybe a baby is what you need to slow down the pace a little. Can I say..."If you do it first, then I'll follow?" I don't know Jenny or Nancy, but they both hit the nail on the head. They know you all too well and I completely concur with them. Miss you dear girl! XOXXO

Melissa Rozeski said...

I'm having the opposite life crisis. I have dropped out of everything and still feel stressed. I don't think you are in crisis, just in decision mode....which for us Type A's feels very uncomfortable. I don't think you will ever regret having one, it's just a matter of energy and sanity. I guess you have to ask yourself if you will be sad not to have your fingers in so many other things or if you would like to concentrate your energy on a new baby. What I know of you, is that you are very capable and that you will handle whatever you are given. You are a doer and you like being involved. I do not have those feelings this time, maybe that is my sign, but I know how strong they are. Whatever you choose, you are a great mom!!! Reality is that motherhood is hectic, frustrating and exhausting sometimes. So you are normal and on track ! Miss you! GAME ON!!!!! (I totally had to pull over and pee in a gas station today)